One foot in sea, one on shore

“Buccaroos” by Charles Marion Russell. Lithograph. Public domain.

A post in which to say the novella writing is going well… very well. Too well. 9K in four days is pretty much the most I’ve written in one go in, oh, two years? It has nothing to do with time, since there’s hardly enough of that to go around these days. I think more than anything it just has to do with the fact that Professor is a character I’m so familiar with (even though I’ve never written from her POV) and the world, well, it’s already established. Writing characters 20 years before they appear in The Aldersgate rocks. Sir Gawen in his early 20s, Maelys in her prime and in love, Sylvan and Ellinora as kids playing around in the castle. It’s no end of fun. Plus, it’s a great distraction from other stuff. You know, as writing tends to do.

Not to mention I’ve absolutely fallen in love with a new character who didn’t really exist a few days ago. I knew I wanted someone to travel with Professor from the carnival in the Territories to Hartleigh Castle, and that’s when Tolley showed up. Then I figured out who she really was and I started doing cartwheels. In the whole scheme of the Aldersgate Cycle she turns out to be pretty damned important. I like to pretend it’s all planned, but in this case… yeah, definitely feels out of my hands.

I’ve mentioned before that I’m a pantser, and this is mostly true. However, I did start a wiki page for the AGC books and, I couldn’t be more grateful it exists (even if it is insanely ugly). There’s details there I forgot that are truly important. It’s been quite a while since I’ve been entrenched in secondary worlds, and it’s good to be back. Like finding your favorite comforter in the back of the closet after misplacing it for a few years.

So, last night there was a stampede. And I got to re-introduce Sir Gawen again. A bit of first draft stampede fun as Professor (Robin) tries to save her stuff.

She ran to Dollop and started untying the more important bundles around him. The roll of blueprints; the small, delicate bag; her ammunition and works in progress; her diaries. These were non-negotiable items. How in the hells could she show the queen was she was working on if she lost her work? Dollop could get lost, could get trampled to death. It was too much of a risk.

She was just about to loose the package containing most of the clockwork she’d been working so diligently on when someone scooped her up by her middle and threw her over the saddle of their horse. The rider took a sharp left, and Robin lost her grip on the last two bags: the diaries and the clockwork mechanisms. The wind knocked out of her and her entire vantage point compromised, all she could do was cough up spittle and kick her legs like a spoiled child.

Tolley was by in a flash, flanked by Marrick. Keeping her head up hurt, and her cursed savior wasn’t saying anything, but Robin could guess by the quality of the leather she was on that it was likely Sir Jack himself.

It was not a tick too soon because a herd of steer came thundering down the hill, splashing into the stream, hell bent on getting away from whatever it was behind them causing them so much fear. There was no sign of smoke, but toward the end of the stampede Robin thought she caught sight of a handful of horses and riders. They weren’t knights by the look of them, what she could see.

She felt cold water on her face as the horse dipped into the river, and she felt herself get hauled up by the scruff of the neck and shaken slightly, like some limp rag doll. She felt her braids slap the side of her face and she almost lost her specs, if it wasn’t for the fact she caught them just in time.

“Aye, now. Calm yourself, wee one,” said her captor—decidedly not Sir Jeck’s voice. An Islander by the lilt, of all things. Not a familiar Islander voice, either. The enormous hand at the reins, she now noticed, was flecked with brown freckles and sprouting red hair. “You’re flailing like a hooked fish!”

Water kept splashing in Robin’s mouth, and she put up her hands to wipe some of it away, then spun halfway around to get a better look at this man. They were still progressing, north easterly, but the sun was behind the man’s head and she could make out nothing but a huge hat and red curls set afire like a halo. He was the largest man she’d ever seen. Somehow she’d been rescued by a mountain.

The Wind Through the Wheat:

Burning down the house. Again.

Image by FEMA – public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

If you’ve been following this blog for any amount of time, you may notice that I occasionally redecorate. Well, I did it again. The last template was okay, but I wanted something cleaner that had a similar look without the clutter. I’m happy where it is, now! It’s not finished completely, as I’m working on a nice custom header graphic and whatnot. But the layout works, the fonts make me happy (which is a big deal) and… I even changed the blog’s tagline. It’d been a long time coming, and I wanted something that represented the multitude of things I write and post about. So, voila!

Writing has been slower, due in no small part to raising a baby and a very challenging six year old (you can read a little about what we’ve been going through here). I’m still not entirely back into the groove, but thankfully I had a few hours to myself yesterday in which I actually cleaned up my office space to allow for sitting. Even though I share the office with the baby now, it’s still as close to a place of my own that I’m going to get (she says typing as quietly as possible while the baby naps).

I’ve been writing in Rock Revival rather dutifully, and I’m proud of where I’ve gotten — while I wanted to be done (*insert maniacal laughter track*) by now, I realize that’s not possible. And that’s… deep breath… okay. I’ve got a novella to write which, potentially, could actually generate revenue and it’s a nice trip back into the world of the speculative. Also a nice trip back into the world of The Aldersgate which, hasn’t been traditionally published, was really the book/project that got me a foothold into all this to begin with. The novella is a prequel, taking place fifteen years before, give or take, before. There are a few familiar faces, but the majority of the novella follows Robin Creekwise, the diminutive inventor otherwise known as the Professor, and how exactly she got herself excommunicated from Queensland to Vell, a backwoods town in the middle of the Territories. It also tells the story of Queen Maelys and Kaythra Bav, and how their love and subsequent hatred tore things apart both politically and theologically. Tentatively it’s called The Wind Through the Wheat.

Anyway… Rock Revival currently stands at 37,000 — just under the halfway point. The band has boarded a plane for Kent, and they’ll be finishing up the album there. It feels like a natural place to pause while I work on this other project, and I’ll pick it back up in November.

Other things? It’s almost autumn, and I could not be happier about that. Yesterday I made pumpkin flax bread which, for my sister and I, is as close to summoning up the spirits of the season as can be. Filling the house with the scents of cinnamon and ginger and nutmeg? Yeah, it makes me want to dance around in a field of crisp leaves or something.

Rock Revival:

The Wind Through the Wheat:

More Pilgrim of the Sky Reviews!

I’ve been very behind in providing reviews for Pilgrim of the Sky — mostly due to being insanely busy and preparing to bring the new little creature into the world (9 weeks to go, for those who are counting). However, I am grateful and thrilled that so many people have connected with the book, and offer here a few choice bits for you to read:

From Chuck Lawton at GeekDad (whose band The Vitrolum Republic you should check out, not to mention the project of his wife, Sue, The Circus and the Cyclone):

The novel is grand in scope, rich in description and full of wonderful discovery. It will take you from the present modern world to a world born of an alternate history which parallels our own to a wholly ancient and powerful realm. It has plenty of originality while echoing the elements of other authors such as Neil Gaiman and Phillip Pullman — comparisons I make with great compliment. It’s a fun adventure and one I hope you embark on yourself.

From Steampunk Canada:

All of the main characters in Natania Barron’s story have substance and their interactions are well crafted and complex. The mysteries and mythology in her tale are nicely designed and she reveals them a little at a time, always leaving a little unsaid. It made me want to sit far longer than I intended to read on and find out more.

By the story’s climax  I was, I fully admit it, bawling my eyes out. I won’t say whether through sorrow or mirth, but it was, to state it simply, amazing.

From Litstack:

All in all, it was an enjoyable read, and would be a good introduction to steampunk for someone who wants to ease in (only one of the eight worlds is steampunk, after all, even if it is the one where the most time is spent). If you enjoyed Mur Lafferty’s Heaven and Hell, wanted to follow Alice Through the Looking Glass, or thought Gaiman’s Anansi Boys could do with a few more corsets and a touch of lace, do yourself a favor and read Pilgrim of the Sky.

From Game Vortex:

Pilgrim of the Sky is a peculiar book, but an interesting one. There’s a lot of story to absorb and the characters skip about through different worlds, so it can be difficult to keep it all straight in your head. While the story did have a definite end, only Worlds One, Two, Six and Eight were truly explored and I have a feeling there may be a sequel in the works in the mind of the author to explore the other worlds.

Additionally you can hear me and my silliness on a variety of podcasts including:

Prosaic Analysis Paralysis

In which I think aloud for a few paragraphs… pardon the navel gazing.

The burden of words. It’s quite something, I tell you. And at the moment I’m finding it to be on the verge of utterly overwhelming. I have all these stories, all these books and novels and ideas, and instead of a calm, steady stream (the way I’ve written for the better part of the last five years) it’s a frozen lake. A frozen lake filled with strange faces and whispers under the icy surface, all jumbled together, staring at me, challenging me.

And I’ve got analysis paralysis. I have too much to work on, so much so that I just don’t know what to write. Those ideas, all frozen there beneath the surface, they taunt me. Snippets of one story, the challenge of another, the feeling that I don’t want to abandon this one or that one. I can’t call it writer’s block, because it certainly isn’t that I have nothing to write. It’s the entire opposite. I have a glut of words and possibilities and I just don’t know what the heck to do. The noise of it all is intense.

Glassmere was supposed to be my focus. Working full time instead of freelance has changed my writing habits, but not that much; I’ve always been an evening writer, though those evenings are shorter than they used to be. Time isn’t my problem. Brain noise and the challenge of this book is. Glassmere is very personal, and for that reason it’s very hard to write, and I keep wondering if I’m just not up for the challenge of it, if it’s not yet time for me to write it. I want the story to be told, but so far it’s been something like 15,000 words of writing and rewriting, and I’m tired of trying to wrestle it into submission. It’s honestly exhausting.

Then there’s Indigo & Ink. I have to rewrite the whole thing. The. Whole. Thing. There’s just no way around it, and I have to admit my pride has been shaken in this instance. While I was writing it I really thought it was The Best Thing Ever. But now, after other eyes have seen it and I’ve had a chance to go through it, all I see is where it’s lacking, wanting.

Its cousin, The Ward of the Rose is the sequel to The Aldersgate. But this is problematic twofold. I want to revise The Aldersgate, and I can’t finish Ward until it’s revised and fixed. I wouldn’t even be considering revising The Aldersgate if it hadn’t been for a bunch of folks stumbling upon my podcast and demanding the sequel (nicely). I should have written the second book a long time ago, but well, you’ve already heard that saga.

Which is all not to mention other books prickling at the back of my mind. Heroic fantasy, Arthurian re-tellings. Finished books, in those two cases, but also in need of revision like whoa. And that’s not even to talk about Herald of the Morn, the sequel to Pilgrim of the Sky which is, basically, candy and easy to write and, in general, makes me feel guilty because I have so many unfinished things I should be working on. Or, also, The Gnome and the Necromancer which is decent for YA, and is also a candy book.

I know I’m not perfect. I’m acutely aware of my shortcomings as a writer, as I think we all must be in order to improve. But for some reason in the last few months I’ve felt as if the wind has gone out of my sails in terms of my own confidence. I’m thinking way too much about what I’m writing (whether it’s a period piece and I’m freaking out about language, fashion, and culture, or it’s a secondary world and I’m freaking out about pacing and style and magic). I wrote about confidence before, but I thought I had a handle on it. Yet the word count for the year tells me otherwise. The magic of previous years just isn’t there right now, and I know 90% of it is totally me.

So these are my questions I’ve been asking. Because at this point, I’ve got to dig deeper than prose. I’ve got to go ice fishing in this freezing lake and see what bites, what takes hold, and ultimately what ends up a meal, not a long day of sitting and waiting.

What makes most sense to work on from a “career” standpoint? Well, clearly Herald of the Morn is a book that’s a followup to something that’s actually being published. So, that sounds pretty smart. However, it’s a sequel and that assumes a certain amount of audience participation across the board, and that’s all risky. Gnome is definitely the most marketable (UF, YA), but is it me? No clear answer there.

What do I want to write the most? I keep telling myself that Glassmere is that answer, but I think the water’s too murky in this case. I’m exceptionally self-conscious as I write this. Wharton-influenced manor house “through the lookinglass” fantasy? Yes, absolutely I want to read this book. This is the sort of book I would love to read. But will anyone else give a crap? So even though the answer is clear on that count, I’m not sure it’s the best decision.

What do other people want me to write? Success wise I’ve reached more people with The Aldersgate than anything. And I keep getting reminders that people want to read it and its followup.

What makes me happy? Writing makes me happy. Falling in love makes me happy. Falling in love with the world and the characters and the story. Being so wrapped up in the story that the whole world vibrates with it, that every whisper and strain of music takes you there. I had that with Indigo & Ink, due in no small part to the fact that I’m a little in love with Ash Malcom and I do think with some restructuring he can really hold up the majority of the book.

Seriously, I’m almost at the point where I just want to chart all this crap out and CHOOSE SOMETHING. Because my approach for the last few weeks of writing 500-1000 words in any one of these projects and bouncing around is really not going to be good for the long haul.

Wondering if any of you out there have had similar experiences. Little time, lots of words. What helped you get through? What got your mojo back? A few considerations include: getting some readers for one of these projects and promising to keep up with revised/new work (read: accountability), tossing everything out and starting a new project, submitting a few things so at least I don’t think about them for a while, or possibly taking a break and just working on short stories for a while.

The Perils of Early Success: Or, Writing With the Pointy End

So I started blogging “as a real writer” at the very beginning of 2008 in order to share a draft of my novel, The Aldersgate, with the world at large. I had already written two drafts, and then decided to start again and record the new chapters and launch them out into the world for feedback. It’s a steampunk western sort of fantasy story, with low magic and high politics and many point of views. You know; as you will.

While I commenced blogging in that first year or so, I had pretty immediate success with my short story writing and network building, and I felt like I was on top of the world. I was writing very unfettered, gamboling around in precious little Snowflake land (though I’d never have admitted it).

I was simply sharing my story. And I honestly believed that everything would fall into place. Having listened to a bit of Cory Doctorow I felt that, as long as what I was putting out there was good (which I was convinced it was) someone would find it, and I’d ride that golden pegasus out into the sunset and become a True Published Author.

People did come, it turns out. Wonderful readers, writer friends. And wouldn’t you know, but a year and a half later after I’d just about finished the entire podcast of the novel (and attracted quite a few positive responses which made me feel Truly Awesome) I was approached by an editor at Ace/Roc who wanted to listen to my story and read the manuscript. At first, I was entirely sure that the whole thing was a hoax and that someone was trying to mess with me. But no, she was totally legit. So in a state of utter glee and terror, I sent the manuscript to her, expecting to hear back in a few months. I knew that publishing was slow, so I didn’t expect a fast turnaround from a very busy editor. I was willing to wait for glory… or rejection. Either way, I prepared to wait.

No, I didn’t commit the first sin of writing. I didn’t stop writing. In fact, I wrote a few more novels: Pilgrim of the Sky, Peter of Windbourne, Indigo & Ink, and Queen of None. But the entire time I waited, I froze as a writer in many ways. To be honest with you (and me!) I don’t think I thought I had much room for improvement. After all, my book was with a Big Publisher. While I was realistic with myself, even preparing for rejection, I got lazy. Everything seemed to live in the shadow of that hope.

It’s been two years, now. And since you haven’t heard me jumping up and down and shrieking about a contract with a big publisher, you can imagine the result. Actually, I never heard back at all. I pinged the editor a few times, but never heard so much as a peep. Just… silence.

It takes a long time for hope to die. I can still tell you that I sent that manuscript out on June 23, 2009. For the first year, every 23rd was like a new mile-marker bringing me ever closer to the possible answer: yes or no. But by the 18th month, I was starting to doubt that it was ever going to happen at all. (I don’t even think about the editor and that hope these days, albeit in a passing, wistful sort of way.)

The thing is, well, life went on. Life got hard. And as life got hard, writing got harder. And it got harder to look at my own writing and be absolutely honest with myself, even after I stopped believing in the muse!

It’s funny how much something like this can impact one’s entire writing approach. Writing The Aldersgate was a mighty powerful experience. I was smitten with words, high on storytelling. And I think that comes through in the draft that’s out there on the internets (I’m not ashamed; the story has a lot going for it). People seemed to love the characters*, but the nuts and bolts of the story really need work. Work that for the last two years I haven’t given it. (Even though, on occasion, I tried.)

But I’ve always been someone who worked best with tough love. I was smart, but lazy, during school. I never pushed myself until teachers pushed back. “Any other student would have gotten an A on this project, but this isn’t your best work.” Even a resounding rejection of the manuscript would have most likely lit a fire under me.

But nothing? NOTHING? Nothing left too much room for hope.

Hey, I have lots of excuses why things have not gone as well as they did in the magical year of 2008, writing-wise. I have enough excuses to fill a damned book. But the only real reason that I didn’t grow as a writer is because I wasn’t honest with myself. I let hope cloud my better judgement.

Sure, I spent a lot of time editing and rewriting. But rewriting isn’t editing. Rewriting isn’t taking a cold, hard look at the way you write, which is the only route toward improvement and, well, success by extention. (Thankfully I’ve had the pleasure of working with some fantastic editors in preparation for Pilgrim of the Sky’s publication that really wonderfully helped in that respect, as well as advice from a seasoned pro writer friend that helps toward this rather jarring realization on my part, but that’s another post…) Rewriting is simply making another draft. Granted, it’s practice, and practice is part of the improving part, but editing is essential. You know, those fancy book editors don’t rewrite your book. They tweak it.

And that’s not to say that being a taskmaster is the only way to go. It’s got to be a combination. The successful, holistic approach to writing, revising, and editing, is a balance of fact and fancy. The fancy drives it, but the fact improves it. To use a martial simile: Your arm is the fancy, the creative drive, the raw excitement and energy and thought–but fact is your sword, cutting and shaping and ultimately turning your strength into something more. They work together, y’see? (It takes practice, but soon you’re carving through like a Braavosi.)

There is no easy path, it turns out. Would I trade early success for early struggle? I don’t know. But the thing is that early success can be maddening and counter-productive in its own right. (I’m admittedly  still a baby about rejections, probably because I didn’t get enough early on!).

My only hope for myself is that I achieve balance, and, more than anything that I find fancy again. Since I started work in December, fancy has been hard to come by; the muscles have gone weak. Fancy has to come first, before fact, otherwise progress can never be made. But it doesn’t always linger in familiar places. Sometimes you have to summon it up.

We all know that writing books is hard. Finishing books is harder. But the hardest part of all comes after all that. It’s being honest about the draft. And that honesty will usher in growth. For without growth, in any career or creative endeavor, nothing magic can happen.

* Much of this post was inspired by finding a trove of “pending” comments in the Aldersgate blog. For all my lack of growth, the experience of reaching readers who really felt a connection my story is not something I take lightly. I will finish the story.

Fiddling in short form.

Last night I finally wrote* a synopsis of The Aldersgate. I’m not sure why I hadn’t done this before, since I’d queried it and submitted it to a publisher–but somehow, there it was, un-synopsized (which, I’m aware, is not a word). Normally I kind of dig doing synopses–I did three of them in one weekend a few months ago, and it was almost refreshing. But, those three novels were not multi POV.

The problems with writing multi POV synopses is that clarity cracks. You have so many details, intertwined–and if you forget a minor detail, you have to back if that minor detail turns into a major plot point. Plus, there’s all the back and forth! Lots of “meanwhiles” and “back ins”. Lots of jumping from head to head, which works considerably better in chapter rather than paragraph format.

But I did it!

As it stands, it’s a little longer than I’d have liked. In general, I’m pretty satisfied with it. I do realize that it’s supposed to make sense to me; whether or not readers will understand it is an entirely different question. The long synopsis also made me realize that the hook I had for the novel wasn’t accurate. It described the whole projected series, but not the book itself. It was very exciting to retool that, in a weird way. It’s frustrating, absolutely–but when you get something that works better in the end, even though it’s just a sentence long, it feels quite triumphant.

We writers complain a great deal about synopses and hooks and all that. But the truth is, it’s an essential part of novel writing. If you can’t boil down your story to some basics–if you can’t write a sentence to wrap around the whole thing–something’s amiss. If you’re like me, writing a novel is never the hard part. Thinking big is easy. The challenge comes with thinking small, with pulling back to the micro level. But, as I learned in poetry classes in college, thinking small and perfecting that approach can only enhance the long form.

At any rate, that’s what’s going on right now. I’m also working on a peripheral Aldersgate Cycle novel, which takes place toward the end of the first book, but in Ardesia. It’s about secret societies, corrupt guilds, madmen, magic, and love. Having a fun time with it so far!

That’s the news from here!

*Well, look. I’m typing. I’ve been typing. I typed a whole ton last night. My hands aren’t perfect, but I was able to do it (almost 4,000 words, I should add). I think the strength training is really doing the trick, as well as just losing a few pounds in general. Yay for me!

Metrics, Mind-tricks, and Mayhem

This week I:

  • Killed 30K in The Ward of the Rose
  • Wrote 7K in The Ward of the Rose
  • Decided I’m awesome and it’ll be no time before this career gets off the ground, then
  • Decided that I’m not good with that much bravado; then
  • Decided I pretty much suck, I’m doing it all wrong, and my stuff will never see the light of day, then…
  • Decided, in light of what’s going on, I’m allowed a moment of crazy
  • Fell in love with characters I hadn’t seen in a while
  • Wanted to strangle some of the characters I hadn’t seen in a while
  • Felt very grateful for having recorded the draft of The Aldersgate
  • Felt slightly embarrassed by some of the glitches/trip-ups in said recording
  • Successfully completed potty training with the three year old
  • Wrote a total of five other articles for various freelancing jobs
  • Wrote a very long post, deleted it, and started a bulleted list instead
  • Realized I’m embarrassingly behind on holiday gifts/planning/etc.
  • Still, still, walked away immensely grateful for being a writer, for knowing writers, and for having an outlet for the stories in my brain


Renovating rooms, knocking down walls

I’m not going gung-ho with writing right now. I know it’s a bit of a fruitless endeavor, what with family and holidays and everything. As my lovely friend Jennifer said to me yesterday during coffee, “Just enjoy doing nothing for a while.”

Yeah, I’m not good with doing nothing. Especially writing-wise. But hey, I’m pacing myself.

Except characters just have minds of their own now, don’t they? The last three days I’ve been assaulted with bits and pieces of dialogue, scenes, sentences, and stories from The Ward of the Rose (taking a wee break from the followup to Queen of None, but still going to be writing more Arthuriana posts). For those of you keeping count, that’s the sequel to The Aldersgate that I’d written about seven chapters in earlier this year and then decided to let cool for a while.

Sometimes letting a draft cool can be a very positive experience. With Queen of None, for example, the five or so months I let it stew led to a much clearer revisit and, thankfully, the realization that it was a far better story than I’d initially thought. This led to the best editing session I’ve ever had, and I’m still excited about the book as a whole.

However, The Ward of the Rose is difficult. It did not benefit from the months and months of stasis. Feeling plucky today I opened up Scrivener to take a look at what was there. Three of the seven chapters I’d grade at B+, the other four I consigned immediately to my sub-zero drafts folder (not completely destroying, but keeping around for random bits of information if I need them). Then, facing the other three chapters I dug even deeper. Is it my best? No. Is it worth the editing? Because, sure, with enough time you can edit anything into submission.

But no. No, no, no. Too much needed to be reworked. There wasn’t enough tension, there wasn’t enough movement. The POV was too distant in one chapter, and in the other two there was far too much dialogue. Not to mention another hundred spoilery problems throughout.

It really sucks to dump that much writing. Hours and hours of work. Part of me was really ready to get sulky about it. But already what I wrote after, a scant 3,000 words, is better than what I dumped. It’s first-draft better, but it’s far closer to the feeling of the first book and much more in line for the vision I have.

Rule #1: Don’t be precious about your work. You can’t afford it. The more precious you are, the more blind you get to your own writing issues, and the harder it will ever be to improve. I learned this the hard way in my creative writing courses in undergrad, which is to say I didn’t learn it until after. I really thought most of what I wrote was perfectly fine the way it was and screw you if you thought different.

It can always be better.

As I Tweeted earlier: Sometimes you have to knock down walls to renovate the room.

But the fun part? After you’re done, you can invite everyone back in again.

Glut, glut, glut.

I am trying to be candid here.

I have too many words.

Not counting finished drafts, I have somewhere around 230K of unfinished business. This is either work in process (currently I am writing two separate books) or words that need to be edited. This morning I thought I’d total it up, for reasons of amusement. But now? Looking at it I’ve got to wonder what the hell it is I’m getting at.

This started when I got frustrated editing a first draft. Then I decided to do something else; which lead to something else… which means, ah, what the hell?

Self: Stop this grumblefest. You need to look on the bright side.

Glutty McGlutterson: Wha? Like, the fact that I’m writing and that’s something and I should keep my chin up, buster, and dance with rainbows and dragons and flying horses?

Self: Um, no, not exactly. Since when have I ever called you buster?

McGlut: Ugh, you always do this.

Self: Do what? Force you to accentuate the positive?

McGlut: I’m going to start calling you Pollyanna.

Self: Seriously. Remember that 10,000 hours thing? You’re being a writer. Not an editor. So you’re writing.

McGlut: I can scarcely think where to go.

Self: You were on a roll.

McGlut: *sigh* That peksy past-tense.

Self: Oh, grow up! Just sit your ass down and write. Stop complaining. You are a professional.

McGlut: A professional word-vomiter.

Self: Better than the other way.

McGlut: … true.

Self: Consider the current project. Marketable, single person narrative… just focus on that. The rest will come. Or it won’t. And you’ll drown to death in words.

McGlut: *glub, glub, glub*

Textual nightmares: or, some ways you can not suck at editing by learning from my mistakes

Writing novels is not my problem. My output has only improved in the last few years, and I’ve finally moved beyond the whining about not having time, or making every excuse in the world not to write stage. Those were big hurdles for me, and I’m proud of the accomplishment. I generally make my 1K goal every day, with a few exceptions, and I love telling the stories.

So what’s the problem, right?

Unfortunately, what’s resulted is lots of first drafts, and not completed novels. As a writer who fumbles around in the dark putting pieces together, this is truly problematic as editing, the next step in the process, just opens up all sorts of new and strange writing problems and therefore, inevitably, leads me toward a complete creative freeze.

I have approached editing three drastically different ways for the last three completed drafts. With The Aldersgate, I rewrote everything. I think I saved just over 3K of the original 100K book, and ended up somewhere around 150K (which is still too long). With Pilgrim of the Sky I did a direct edit, three times through; didn’t re-write, so much as restructured. This worked well, but burned me out, and literally left textual imprints on my retinas.

Then came Queen of None. I wrote this book in about five weeks, just after my sister’s cancer diagnoses. Read: therapy. After finishing the edits on Pilgrim I went right to it, and was disappointed by pretty much the entire book, or at least the chapters I’d managed to get through.

  • Mistake #1 – I should have re-read the entire thing, without editing (and trying not to think about editing) before I went about the deed. It would have given me access to the better parts of the book, and I would have been a better judge of the story overall, rather than each chapter in succession. Because parts of it are not good, or even worth keeping, and that completely overwhelmed me.
  • Mistake #2 – I should have thought harder about my narrative perspective. Hands down, Queen of None was the easiest book I’ve ever written. Hell, after the 8 POVs in The Aldersgate it was a cakewalk. But the awesome thing about multi-POV is that when you get tired of one voice, you just move right along. Not so with first-person. I have found myself loathing, admiring, despising, and loving Anna Pendragon. I chose first person because I wanted it to be her story. She’s Arthur’s sister, for goodness sakes, she deserves to tell it her way! I’m just not sure I knew what I was getting into at the time.
  • Mistake #3 – I also let so-called edited chapters out before I should have, sharing with some other writers. While this is a good thing–sharing, yes!–I was a little too enthusiastic, and rather than ask myself the harder questions and really shake up my edits, I ended up being overwhelmed by the feedback. Not that it was all bad; it was simply a bad move considering the shoddy framework that I’d already built around me.
  • Mistake #4 – I just let myself get the better of… uh, myself. Instead of rising to the challenge, I grumbled, I buckled, I put it away. I did not champion on, I did not do better; no, I folded. Now I’m standing in front of Queen of None again. It’s been up and down the last few days, but I’m still making slow progress.
  • Mistake #5 – You know when people say to work on something else if one particular work is giving you issues? Well, that’s well and good, unless you end up with seven unfinished short stories and three unfinished novels in various states of disrepair. There’s a point of utter saturation, where, in my case anyway, the brain is no longer capable of focusing on one thing and, therefore, giving it the attention it deserves. It’s a kind of mental multi-personality disorder, from a textual perspective anyway.

So… forging on. I’m going to make a list (haha, this is not my typical approach) and rate my projects in order, and spend some time really considering a) marketability b) reality and c) creative attachment. I’ve got to work on something I love, and it’s got to be worth my time. Maybe that sounds a little uninspired, but clearly my free-as-a-bird approach isn’t working. I need a little drill sergeant in my life.

I’ve been writing novel-length stuff since I was twelve, and I’ve got to say, I still feel like a total n00b.